My brain is fucked up,
By stress, anxiety, it’s a mess,
Family falling apart,
Money causing strife.
Sleep seems distant to me,
But thoughts just circle,
Round the drain,
That is my mind.
If there was a wishing well,
I’d go back to when I was young,
And tell me it doesn’t end well.
The things that were certain,
Are dissolving around me,
The rocks of my life,
Are fading away like dist.
Twink twinkle night dark,
Please take me to sleep,
Where the dreams are sweet,
Beneath these sheets.
No wishing or pleading,
With the universe or god,
Is going to fix,
The bridges that have been burned.
I could write a thousand verses,
But I think this can only get worse,
Choices have been made,
And they cannot be reversed.
Maybe one day I’ll understand why,
Such pain had to be caused,
And he made the decisions he did,
But for now there is just what there is.
You can give all you can,
To offer family a helping hand,
But if they won’t take that help,
You have done all you can.
They say blood is thicker than water,
And I know family should be stronger,
But when a member no longer wants to,
A family begins to falter.
I’ve cried my tears,
Looked at the plans,
Laid out my fears,
While my heart cares.
But all I want to do,
Is run away,
And imagine you are still there.
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